A Call for Building Confidence!
Rejected. Denied. Postponed. Deferred.
For many high schoolers, these words have occupied more headspace in the last few months than in their entire lifetimes. This feeling of unworthiness can become a heavy weight—one that drags down years of impressive credentials and personal growth.
Proud. Deserving. Impressive. Remarkable.
These are the antidotes. They are lifters and motivators, yet they are rarely heard enough during the admission journey. These words help students stand taller and recognize the individual value they bring to the table before their launch into adulthood.
Controlling the Controllables
This post is not a criticism of the rigor and selectivity of college admissions. I have lived the college admission process on both sides of the wall and I know, understand, and respect the difficult position that admission officers are in each and every cycle. When I start an engagement with a family, I specifically prioritize talking about “accepting the process” and yet, “controlling the controllables”. In our work together, the student (with my support) controls their academic ambitions, their college list, and their application narrative. My job is to guide them through that journey with confidence, and - dare I say - a degree of enjoyment (when else in your life do you have so many exciting and diverse paths to explore??).
A Lesson in Environment
I recently spent 2 days on the campus of High Point University meeting with students, faculty and staff. There is something special happening on that campus related to confidence! The grounds are immaculate; world leader statues and quotes are found scattered purposefully throughout the academic quad; classical music plays on speakers between classes; full size beds in the dorms; and a reservation-only-no-phones-allowed steak house is a part of the meal plan. All of this is designed with purpose. The leaders believe that by surrounding college students with “niceties”, they will be inspired to strive for the highest bar possible. This attention to student success is echoed by an engaged faculty and student support leaders who, from day one, elevate the honing of “life skills” alongside traditional skills present in the coursework. For example, there is a realistic, yet mock airplane layout where students practice conversational skills with their seatmate! While it’s not the right fit for every student, my takeaway was clear: a student graduates from HPU with a step-change in their confidence.
Our teenagers need that confidence. They need to know they have an impactful voice and a future potential that isn't defined by a single portal update. For 2026, my metric of success is going to be less about the college names on the acceptance letters (which we will certainly still celebrate), but will be in the confidence instilled in my students whether they are just starting the journey and building college lists or at the end of the journey with a new favorite sweatshirt to proudly wear.
